How to Stop Hating Someone

She betrayed me.

Others started to make assumptions about me.

Lies swirled and rumors started.

They were whispers. At first.

But then something I said contradicted someone’s conclusions about the whole situation, and the accusations crescendoed.

 

The betrayal stung.

The lies spread like fire.

I was burned. And it hurt.

 

Anger grew, bitterness tempted me and I begged God for help.

He showed me Jesus in the garden being kissed by a friend and then handed over to the Romans.

A betrayal wrapped in affection—twisted, evil, typical.

 

God also reminded me of Jesus washing His betrayer’s feet, offering him mercy until the last moment. And I saw Jesus crying out “Forgive them!” from the cross.

 

And that’s the secret. Forgive them.

Whenever the hurt surfaces, forgive. When a mean comment comes to mind, forgive. When the pain of what was lost returns, forgive.

Each layer, every time. Forgive.

It took time—years—to feel fully free of the hatred and anger. Sometimes I still grieve over it all, but hatred has not won. Love has.

 

Lord, You see every betrayal. You understand the sting and injury that result better than anyone! Give me the ability to forgive. Give me an understanding of the grace you’ve shown me that I might forgive others and live free. Amen.

 

• Be Up to Know Good: Read about Jesus’ betrayal first-hand in John 13 and Matthew 26 and His words from the cross in Luke 23.